


Don't go, won't you stay?

by gotsoulmates



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotsoulmates/pseuds/gotsoulmates
Summary: Staring into the far distance, Jinyoung’s mind wandered off to this morning when he hurriedly packed his bags and, without looking back once, left his apartment and went straight to the airport.(or: Jinyoung flees to another country to avoid Jaebeom.)
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 17
Kudos: 187





	Don't go, won't you stay?

**Author's Note:**

> izzy, i cannot thank you enough. i love you.

A deep sigh escaped Jinyoung’s lips, as he closed the door of his hotel room silence greeted him. He let himself fall against the door and shut his eyes for a brief moment.

Everything felt heavy, something was dragging down his limbs so that his whole body felt heavy. Jinyoung was utterly exhausted. Everything hurt - his body and mind in a constant state of pain - he felt slightly relieved that in this dark silent room he didn’t need to act like everything was ok.

Nothing was ok, far from it. Jinyoung complied in this feeling of absolute loneliness as he stood in this quiet unfamiliar room.

Letting his hands run through his hair, Jinyoung tried to find the strength and energy to take a step forward - one step after another so he could ultimately let his body fall onto the bed.

To him, it felt like he had run a marathon when his body hit the soft duvet and another sigh interrupted the silence. Limbs sprawled out in all directions, Jinyoung’s eyes found the round shining moon through the large windows that bathed the room in dim cool light - it reflected his melancholic mind perfectly.

Staring into the far distance, Jinyoung’s mind wandered off to this morning when he hurriedly packed his bags and, without looking back once, left his apartment and went straight to the airport. 

His scheduled meeting in Tokyo was just an excuse to get away, as far away as possible.

Jaebeom… Jaebeom… Jaebeom…

His name. It haunted Jinyoung. It filled his mind entirely and there was nothing that Jinyoung could do to change that. He had tried multiple times already, and still, he was all Jinyoung could think about. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, his mind constantly drifted off to Jaebeom, and only him.

Having difficulties breathing, Jinyoung quickly opened his jacket and ripped off the scarf he wore. Unbuttoning his shirt, it felt a little bit easier to breathe in once again. 

With trembling hands that grabbed the bedsheets, Jinyoung’s eyes tried to hold onto the moon. He needed something to look at in order to not get lost in this dark and cloudy mental state he felt drifting off to.

The façade he had put on all day had given Jinyoung the perfect opportunity to channel all his energy into a fake smile to greet strangers with. But there was no need to pretend anymore, it was only him and his heavy heart and the full moon.

The sound of an incoming text message slightly startled Jinyoung as he slowly dozed off; it took him a few seconds to realise where he was. Jinyoung still lay fully clothed on the hotel bed.

The full moon hid behind dark clouds and so his phone, lit up by the text message, was the only source of light in his room.

Without moving an inch, his hand grabbed the phone from the bedside table to read the text message. His eyes squinted at the brightly lit screen and it took Jinyoung a few seconds to adjust to it until he was able to read.

_Coward._

That was all Jaebeom had sent him. Just this one word, but it felt like a punch in the face.

Jinyoung stared at the screen, unable to move until his phone switched off and he was blankly staring at nothing but darkness. 

Letting his phone slide out of his hand and fall onto the duvet, a deep sigh escaped Jinyoung’s mouth as he closed his eyes once more.

He felt drained, utterly and entirely. No energy was left inside his body and he felt like falling deeper and deeper into the duvet. Even the silence felt heavy against his body as if it pushed him down into the mattress even more until Jinyoung was unable to move completely.

And yet his mind was still wide awake, despite his body being weary, thoughts were swirling around in his head, making him feel restless.

Jinyoung was used to overthinking but this felt almost unbearable and he wished for nothing more than for everything to stop at once.

_Coward… Coward …_

There was no way of denying it, Jaebeom was absolutely right. Jinyoung has been a coward. He played that role perfectly well that up till now there was no chance of changing that. He was too comfortable, it felt too safe, too easy to be a coward and run away just like that and not face the consequences.

Jinyoung ran away that morning, not looking back at the sleeping figure lying in his bed and turned his back on the situation. 

But what Jaebeom didn’t know was that Jinyoung did it out of pure fear. He had been too afraid to face Jaebeom, he didn’t bring himself to stay, scared of what Jaebeom might’ve said. 

Jinyoung was a coward still up to this point, he couldn’t bring himself to reply to Jaebeom or even call him.

The worst of it all was that Jinyoung thought he’d known Jaebeom well, they had been friends for over ten years and yet Jinyoung had no clue what Jaebeom was thinking or how he would react. It made Jinyoung uneasy, he wasn’t used to _not_ knowing. He was left in the dark entirely.

The most painful thought was Jinyoung feeling like he threw away ten years of friendship for one perfect night where he ignored all consequences and gave in completely; Jinyoung had been weak and he couldn’t blame anyone else but himself for the mess he created.

The fear of losing Jaebeom over all of this made his judgment cloudy and he hadn’t been thinking rationally since this morning.

The anger that arose inside of his chest, bottled up all day, feared to escape and made Jinyoung sob loudly. In order to not start crying his hand pressed down onto his mouth, trying to keep it shut and prevent him from sobbing more.

Jinyoung’s anger was directed at himself for not stopping himself last night. He had been so strong for years but he gave in to his weak yielding heart.

☾

Jinyoung felt warm and secure next to Jaebeom who lay on the sofa with him. Both of them cuddled up comfortably, watching a show they started together weeks ago. 

It had been an exhausting day for Jinyoung and his eyes felt heavier with each minute he tried to concentrate on the screen in front of them. Without realising, his head fell to the side and came to rest on Jaebeom’s shoulder.

With a content sigh, Jinyoung snuggled up to Jaebeom and closed his eyes immediately.

“I don’t want to miss anything…” Jinyoung muttered quietly. “Hyung, I’m so tired though.”

Jinyoung heard Jaebeom’s low chuckle as a response. “Don’t worry, get some rest Jinyoungie.”

And with that, Jinyoung felt more at ease and he slowly but surely drifted off to sleep. His arms held onto Jaebeom’s sturdy body, legs entangled with each other’s and Jaebeom’s strands of hair brushed against Jinyoung’s forehead from time to time as his face nestled up to Jaebeom’s neck.

In these quiet moments, Jinyoung’s heart yearned for more than just _this_.

Fully concentrating on Jaebeom’s steady breathing, how his hand squeezed Jinyoung’s occasionally and the way Jaebeom filled Jinyoung’s mind entirely, Jinyoung yearned for something more than this false intimacy of two lovers.

Jinyoung tried to focus on Jaebeom instead of his longing heart, focusing on the way he felt against Jinyoung, the way he smelled. Jinyoung had become a master of ignoring his own heart and trail of thoughts when it came to Jaebeom. Suppressing his emotions came naturally to him these days.

As Jinyoung lay there comfortably for a while, he noticed how Jaebeom moved cautiously and not a second later Jinyoung felt fingertips tracing down his forehead so delicately, brushing away his hair out of his face.

Jinyoung unconsciously held his breath while his eyes stayed closed, waiting for something to happen next.

And then he felt Jaebeom place a light kiss on his forehead. A gentle intimate gesture that Jinyoung, without realising, opened his eyes too overwhelmed to stay put or pretend to sleep. Even though it was just a light peck, Jinyoung still felt Jaebeom’s lips on his skin, prickling and alive.

Jaebeom’s face lingered a few more seconds so closely over Jinyoung’s skin that Jinyoung felt more than just one heartbeat before Jaebeom slowly withdrew himself. 

And then their eyes met, both of them caught off guard, and Jaebeom froze in his movements only inches away from Jinyoung.

As cliché as it sounded to Jinyoung, the world stood still while they locked eyes. Unsure how to proceed further, unsure how to react. Jinyoung could still feel the light kiss on his forehead. 

In just one second Jinyoung forgot about everything and anything, his eyes wandered towards Jabeom’s mouth and Jinyoung decided to risk it all.

His hand reached out to take hold of Jaebeom’s neck and guided his face towards him until finally – at last – his lips crashed onto Jaebeom’s and their lips connected.

It felt unbelievably good. Jinyoung’s whole body tingled, electrified by these soft smooth lips on his own. 

Jaebeom was about to pull away after a few seconds, however, Jinyoung chased after him once more and kissed him again. One light peck after another until Jinyoung gathered up the courage to kiss deeper, opening up Jaebeom’s mouth to lick deeper. Tongues swirled around and playfully explored each other’s mouths until Jinyoung ran out of breath and withdrew himself, his hand still resting on Jaebeom’s neck.

Gazing at Jaebeom, Jinyoung for a split second felt unsure whether all of this was ok; he wondered if he made a huge mistake by starting something that could potentially end their friendship. But in the heat of the moment Jinyoung finally did the one thing he always yearned for, to taste Jaebeom’s sweet lips.

As if Jaebeom knew that Jinyoung started to question what they just did, Jaebeom closed the distance between them. His hands took hold of Jinyoung’s waist and drew Jinyoung closer as his lips yet again found Jinyoung’s.

And with one single gesture, they both agreed to go down that road together; no matter the outcome, what mattered was now.

Jaebeom took the lead and kissed Jinyoung over and over until Jinyoung’s mind was filled only with the sweet taste of Jaebeom’s kisses. He let himself fall down on the sofa, pulling Jaebeom with him.

Jaebeom’s hands made their way under Jinyoung’s shirt, carefully exploring his bare skin and making Jinyoung shiver with the promise of something more than just kissing.

Spreading his legs apart, Jaebeom took Jinyoung’s invitation and slipped in between, pressing his body against Jinyoung’s while he still kissed Jinyoung again and again. It felt as if Jinyoung wasn’t the only one who couldn’t get enough.

Jinyoung noticed Jaebeom’s hands tenderly traveling all over his chest, leaving trails of burning hot skin underneath them. 

All these new sensations were crashing down on Jinyoung; Jaebeom’s soft lips pressed against his own, Jaebeom’s solid body weighing down on him and Jaebeom’s hands claiming every inch of his body.

His entire mind was full of Jaebeom, and Jaebeom only…

☾

Jinyoung didn’t even register how long he had been lying on the bed while his mind was going over all these little things that kept reappearing in his memories, all these things that Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he wanted to erase or keep very dear to his heart.

Until the sky started to turn lighter and brighter with each look Jinyoung took, he realised that he laid there wide awake all night and sunrise was indeed around the corner.

Gradually lifting his body, Jinyoung kept his gaze towards the windows with the moon starting to fade away slowly. Jinyoung could only see a shallow imprint of a once bright shining moon in the far distance and he knew that he had to face a new day too soon.

Running his hand through his hair, he gathered up strength and got up in one swift move. Setting his mind on rest for only a short while, he undressed and walked into the bathroom to step under the shower. As hot water droplets fell down on his face, Jinyoung acknowledged his aching, tired body. The badly needed rest his body wished for, Jinyoung couldn’t get for another day or more. He welcomed the physical ache though, embraced it fully with his wearied mind.

Letting the water wash all over him for longer than he intended to, Jinyoung stepped out of the cubicle at last and caught a fleeting glance at his red exhausted face in the mirror before he went past it and out of the bathroom to find a plain shirt, one stuffed in his bag that he threw half-heartedly in a corner of his hotel room hours ago.

Somehow, Jinyoung’s eyes always found their way towards the window and the sky that had turned into a light washed out pink as though it could give him some kind of reconciliation. Standing still in his underwear and shirt, his hair still so wet that a few strands of hair stuck to his clammy skin, and with his stare towards the sky, a knock on the door disturbed the silence and made Jinyoung jump slightly.

He was so deep in thought, Jinyoung wasn’t sure whether he actually heard a knock or if he hallucinated it, that he didn’t move and stayed put until a more pressing knock appeared.

Even though he wondered who it could be so early in the morning, Jinyoung walked towards the door, reached the handle and opened the door without hesitation.

And there he stood – Jaebeom.

“What are you doing here?” Jinyoung blurted out, too flabbergasted to care how rude it must’ve sounded slipping out of his mouth just like that while they both stared at each other.

“Since you can’t reply to my text or take my calls, I had no choice other than to come to you personally,” Jaebeom stated. “May I come in?”

Jaebeom had taken a flight to another country just to knock on Jinyoung’s door at an odd hour like this. Jinyoung needed time to process all of this. How strange to see Jaebeom standing right in front of him in the dim hotel corridor, he ignored how his heart skipped a beat faster.

“Please?” Jaebeom whispered, almost pleading as he waited for Jinyoung to respond.

Jinyoung cleared his throat, still unable to fully speak, and nodded as he opened the door all the way as an invitation for Jaebeom.

Not looking over his shoulder, Jinyoung took one step after another in a daze while he heard Jaebeom close the door and follow him into the hotel room.

“How did you know where I am?” Jinyoung turned around and faced Jaebeom.

“I just asked Manager-Hyung, Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom spoke softly and took a step towards him. “I took the first flight and came straight to the hotel, I’m sorry if this is all too sudden but…”

Jaebeom stopped mid-sentence and just looked at Jinyoung with an unreadable expression on his face. Jinyoung sensed how he wasn’t the only one who grasped for words to say.

It felt almost unbearable to lock eyes with Jaebeom, Jinyoung had to break the stare and looked anywhere but at Jaebeom.

“I needed to see you,” Jaebeom’s voice sounded raspy. “You left without saying goodbye this morning.”

It almost sounded like an accusation, and rightly so.

Jinyoung’s first reaction was to lie, like he did a million times before to protect himself and his feelings. He was about to apologise and make up any excuse.

But then he hesitated, it was now or never. Jaebeom didn’t let another country come in the way of trying to talk to Jinyoung. If Jinyoung wasn’t a realist, he would think it was some kind of grand romantic gesture.

Jinyoung owed Jaebeom the truth, especially after last night. Jinyoung wouldn’t hold back anymore.

“I was too scared, that’s why I couldn’t face you,” Jinyoung mumbled. “I can’t lose you, Hyung.”

“Who said that you will lose me? Don’t you understand?” Jaebeom interrupted Jinyoung hurriedly, still looking at him with that unreadable sombre expression.

“Isn’t it obvious? Jinyoungie…” Jaebeom ran his fingers through his hair, licked his lips as if he needed more time to get the strength to say something that lingered for far too long on his lips.

“I love you. Jinyoungie, I really do.”

Once more Jinyoung’s world stood still while Jabeom’s hushed confession rang in his ears and made him feel dizzy.

Jabeom’s hand reached out and cupped Jinyoung’s face, looking at him with a gentle smile. His thumb caressed Jinyoung’s cheek ever so lightly while Jinyoung kept staring at Jaebeom.

“You love me.” He repeated.

“I’ve loved you for a long time now,” Jaebeom whispered. “And after last night, I realised there is no going back and I can finally just say it out loud, say how I truly feel.”

“But…” Jinyoung tried to speak but all of this was too much at once. Jinyoung imagined every possible scenario since forever, imagined how it would turn out if he’d tell Jaebeom he loved him.

And now that Jaebeom was standing right in front of him, with his heart on his sleeve and the ‘ _I love you’_ hanging in the air between them, Jinyoung felt overwhelmed by sheer happiness.

A weight was lifted off his shoulders and yet, it was impossible to convey this clutter of emotions into words.

Jinyoung did the only thing that came to his mind, he leaned forward and kissed Jaebeom gently.

Closing the distance completely, Jinyoung’s arms found Jaebeom’s waist and pulled him in while they kissed, clinging onto him, anxious that this perfect moment would end too soon.

But it was Jaebeom who broke the kiss after only a few seconds, both stayed put only a few inches apart so that Jinyoung could sense Jaebeom’s breathing on his skin.

“I love you,” Jinyoung hushed. “I love you, I love you, I love you…” He repeated it all over again and made Jaebeom break into airy, beautiful laughter, his chest vibrating against Jinyoung’s.

Something light and bubbly set free inside Jinyoung, his body felt as if he was floating above the ground with Jaebeom in his arms.

These three words they confessed to each other didn’t resolve the unspoken words that both still had to sort out, but for now, Jinyoung was content with the here and now. Being in Jaebeom’s arms was enough for the time being.

**Author's Note:**

> it me, your least favourite jjp writer! im back !  
> this was purely for practice since writer's block is a bitch and i forgot how to form words. i hope you enjoyed it nevertheless !!
> 
> you can always come and say hi on [twitter](http://twitter.com/softnyeongie) or [my cc account](https://curiouscat.me/gotsoulmates)


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